I went to the doctor late afternoon on Wednesday, Sept. 23rd & while I was there, I was told that I had a "large mass" under my left armpit, in the breast. Today was the soonest they could get me in (since all appointments yesterday were filled), so I'm off to get some kind of fancy mammogram.
I'm hoping with everything I've got that this turns out to be nothing and since there is NO history of breast cancer in my family, there's a good chance that's how it will turn out. But for now, I must admit I'm absolutely terrified. I've also had a horrible week (personally) with things having nothing to do with this, so it seems when it rains, it pours. If there was ever a time I wish I was still living in the same town with my family, especially my Mom & my sister, Gail, this is it, instead of being surrounded by all these men here & an absolute sea of testosterone. (Is is OK to want your Mommy if you're a middle aged woman??)
Add to that the fact that my DH is taking off (without me!!) for Monaco this weekend to meet up with his brother & sis-in-law (who live there) & his youngest sister & her 2 daughters, who will be traveling from the Mid East to meet him there. There's been a lot of family loss surrounding us over the past month or 2, when my husband's youngest sister's husband dropped dead from a very unexpected, massive heart attack--no warning, nothing, leaving her a widow at age 48. Then within that same week, his father died--also unexpectedly--he'd been suffering from dementia for a while, but was in good physical health, then he started to not feel well & within a 1/2 hour, he was gone. So we've has been trying to get a visa for his sis & her 2 daughters (who are very young adults, still living at home) to come & visit here, just to help them clear their heads a bit, but we've had no luck. But they were granted a visa to visit their other brother in Monaco & DH decided to fly over there to meet up with them, & just booked his flight earlier in the week. I really thought I was also going, but it hasn't turned out that way & truthfully, I've been quite hurt by it. But I always say everything happens for a reason & maybe the reason I wasn't allowed to go is because there might be something I need to take care of right here & now--I just don't know. (See, I told you I was having a bad week!!)
I'm also feeling a little guilty because I have NOT kept current with my mammograms, so if this doesn't turn out well, I'll have no one to blame by myself.
What I'm asking of all you amazing people in my talented & generous community, who have become not just acquaintances, but also friends, to do for me this morning is just to put out all the positive thoughts you can muster for me & if you're so inclined, to say a little prayer as well.
Hopefully the next time I write here, it will be with great news that they found hadn't found anything & all this worrying had been for nothing!!
Cross your fingers & wish me luck. You are all the very best people & I couldn't be luckier to be a part of this amazing community!!